It was around this time I crumbled. My family started to notice things weren’t quite right and sat down with me to discuss their concerns which made me feel uncomfortable as I wanted to ignore my problems. The following week was one of the worst of my life. I felt sick and tired constantly and overwhelmed by the slightest things. I couldn’t even attend my nan’s funeral properly and arrived late and sat at the back. Every morning I would call my friend as I would wake up overwhelmed with a tight chest, and every morning she would talk me down from experiencing an anxiety attack.
At the end of the week, I was able to speak to my doctor with my husband there to support me through my appointment. I told her I could no longer cope on my own and I couldn’t take another night of not being able to sleep properly and asked for some medication. I was prescribed something as a short-term solution, and some different medication if I felt I still needed something to manage my anxiety long term.
Obviously, medication is a personal choice, and it wasn’t a decision I made lightly but after considering all my options that is the choice I made, and it worked well for me. From that point I was able to progressively start to feel better. I made a conscious effort to stay active and eat well, and I also received support from my friends, family, and my workplace.
After a few weeks I was also able to start a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) course online. This has been the best decision for my mental health, and I have benefited so much from this. I learned that people with anxiety are more likely to overestimate the level of risk and underestimate their ability to deal with it, and this is something that really resonated with me. I enjoyed working through the CBT course and documenting my thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, and seeing how they all connected. I also found the mindfulness exercises useful to help me stay in the present moment.
The most interesting part of the course for me was the section on facing your fears and doing the graded exposure therapy. Thinking back on how far I came with my mental health journey, I remember being scared to walk too far down the street in case I couldn’t breathe, to a few months later being able to enjoy bodyboarding in the ocean on holiday.
Some of the other things that really helped me not to spiral towards an anxiety attack were remembering that in the present moment I was fine, making gratitude lists, and speaking freely with my friends, as well as breathing exercises. I have not experienced an anxiety attack in several months, am able to exercise without worrying about my health, and I no longer feel the need to have my medication with me wherever I go – at one point I felt unable to even go downstairs without taking it with me.
